EXPAT LIFE Archives - Page 2 of 3

RAMBLINGS: Are systems and workflows truly productive?

November 21, 2017November 21, 20172017, EVERYDAY LIFE, EXPAT LIFE, WORK Catie 2 Comments

(Welcome to Day 1 of a 31 day challenge to write 500 words or more. For more on that click here: goinswriter.com)

Running together is like, his least favorite thing to do. But talking while running is worse which usually means I promise not to talk to him if we run together.

Yet, my loving husband found himself on a run with his wife NOT listening to his podcast like he prefers but instead, once again was helping me process how to be more productive with my work/life balance.

He was encouraging me while doing the thing he least loves, twice over.

You see, I was yet again discouraged and hard on myself for not staying on task and in return not making very much progress to my to-do list. It’s not the first time we have had this conversation and in fact, I thought I WAS doing well at it. That morning, instead of writing, I found myself finishing my Christmas Card list, Christmas shopping, and spent way to much time on my phone.

How did I get distracted when I had started with such good intentions?

We work backwards…

How did I start on the Christmas Card list? I was looking for Christmas gift and remembered I needed to send the card list to my sister.

How did I think about the Christmas gifts? Jason has sent me text message thanking me for taking care of the gifs.

Message = Trigger

Ugh. Totally not his fault.

But really what has started this problem was I was ALREADY distracted before starting to write. WHY? My phone. I usually bring my phone out of my room and jump straight onto everything that I missed while I was sleeping 9 hours ahead of the states.

Real Trigger = Opening my phone before I finish my morning routine.

Other Trigger = NOT moving from my reading chair to my work area.

So we had this conversation about creating routines and systems to help me ‘have a plan’ and ‘know exactly what do to’.

Here are the questions that continually plague my mind:

How does a distracted and jumbled mind work productively?

How do you move past feelings to do your hard projects?

How do you tackle projects that seem too big to manage?

What is the trigger to keep me from doing the things I need to do? Is it environment? Is it my phone? Do I just say yes to every thought that comes to mind?

How do you move past wanting to take care of tasks that trigger my thoughts… that I want to do but can wait until later?

It seems SOOOO SIMPLE.

Just do them…

Just start your big project…

Just forget about feelings and move forward.

Just start…

But sometimes it IS NOT ENOUGH.

and

Sometimes, we are, *um* I am like a 5-year-old and can’t seem to resist the temptations, like NOT looking at my phone… or Instagram… or anything else.

So you know what? I am starting to put the Triggers out of hands reach.

What does that even mean?

Here are a few guidelines I will work on to help create triggers and boundaries:

I will leave my phone in my room until I finish my morning routine and 1-hour writing.

I will start my writing at my desk or dining table.

I will start changing environments for different task –

Consider using a coffee shop right after Turkish lessons to do my homework so I don’t put it off.
Consider another writing location for Monday’s and Friday when I do most of my writing.

I will create a task list the night before to know what my next morning will look like

I will place that task list in front of me so I know what my top 3 are for the day.

I will have a list of random thoughts that come to mind while I am working.

Who’s with me???

Questions for you:

Who else has this problem?

Who will keep me accountable?

What tips do you have for me?

GOING HOME SERIES: 6 ways to make your expat visit ‘home’ more enjoyable (Part 1)

October 15, 2017November 29, 20172017, Culture, EXPAT, EXPAT GOING HOME, EXPAT LIFE Catie 2 Comments

If this is your first time living in another country, you maybe find yourself going through reverse culture shock when you return home. It is possible that feelings of frustrations and bitterness towards friends and family who may not have kept up with your life abroad. You may also find it hard to explain the culture and life you have lived in for the last year. Because culture and questions about everyday life usually overshadow the conversations, the harder it will be sharing the deeper more meaningful moments that happened to you. In addition, personally, I have found the longer you live abroad, the less you want to talk about the small details of culture anyways.

Because culture and questions about everyday life usually overshadow the conversations, the harder it will be sharing the deeper more meaningful moments . Click To Tweet

If you are just wanting to prepare for a better return trip to your native country, preparation is key. Know that you are returning back to your native home where life has moved on without you. While you may consider your transition to be harder or greater, remember that your friends and family have also conquered their own battles. And if they have never visited your new home (or traveled much), the questions may be harder to form. Generally, the offense is unintentional.

While you may consider your transition to be harder or greater, remember that your friends and family have also conquered their own battles Click To Tweet

With preparation, expats can adjust their expectations of their friends and family back home. With even more prep, they can adjust expectations of themselves and how to help the conversations move toward the direction they need as well.

Here are 6 ways you can help those back ‘home’ understand better:

Think of what questions they will ask you when you get back. (ex. What is the best and worst thing about living overseas, etc.)

Much to Jason’s sadness, I am a reflector and evaluator – see here and here (link to review post). I love setting goals even if I can’t achieve them. I like to see what we have done over the past year. All this means that we do a lot of questions answering ourselves about the good, the bad, and the ugly. In turn, it has made going home much easier because we don’t have to think about the answers to the question others will ask us!

And now, much to your advantage, I also wrote a list of them here. Take these questions and work through them alone or as a family. If your friends or family are thoughtful with their questions, your answers should be respectfully thoughtful in return.

Short answers that answer the questions swiftly.

A friend of mine spent a summer in Africa, and in 6 short weeks, she grew into such a different person. Upon arriving home, she spent the next 48 hours (minus sleeping hours) talking about all that happened and what she learns. Unfortunately for her (and us), we probably tuned out about 1 hour into it. Your friends and family are capable of lengthy discussion, but sometimes without the context to understand all you are sharing, it could be hard for them to follow along. So instead of talking about what the 30 types of olives are at the weekly market, consider talking about the market and that there are olives there. Help build a base so later you can go deeper.

Help build a base so later you can go deeper. Click To Tweet

Short stories can be powerful.

Sometimes you only have 5 minutes with friends. Those passing meeting can be some of the most rewarding conversations if you prepare for them! The usually questions begin: “You’re back! Where are you living now? Do you like it there? and how are you?” Instead of just saying “Ummm… good. It’s great”, consider a different approach.

The company I was a part of my first international move shared a great tip for expat returning home. For more meaningful short interactions, prepare 4-5 3 minutes stories that have grown you over the last year to year. Your friend says, ” How are you?” You may say, “ok” OR you can say “Actually, I have a 2 minute story to tell you about how I have learned to…. in the past year. Do you want to hear it?” Then proceed with your story.

For more meaningful short interactions, prepare 4-5 3 minutes stories that have grown you over the last year to year. Click To Tweet

Plan to visit people before you get to the states.

When we first booked our 4 weeks in the states, I thought, “oh, we have plenty of time!” The first week in Louisiana felt too short, then halfway through the 2nd week in Iowa, I melted down about how we didn’t have enough time! Our problem wasn’t enough time. Our problem was not planning ahead and we assumed people would contact us or make time for us. Remember: Your friends, while they want to see you, are busy with their normal lives! If you really want to meet with people, reach out to the most important ones first. Then if there are others, meet them in groups or with other people as well.

Make a mini photo book and have it ready to show people

Walgreens ran a free mini photo book (maybe 40 pictures) sale right after our wedding and I bought one for all the parents in our family and ourselves. That first summer we traveled to Turkey together for the first time and saw old friends. That photo book was so handy and I whipped it out every time we talked about our wedding. I regret to tell you I did no such thing this last visit to the states. We assume this day in age, that our social media lives are followed by everyone and that all should know what we did during our expat year. But unfortunately, that is not the case and honestly, people just forget. Having a photo book is a natural and easy way to share your lives visually with others. (Read more ways to document your time abroad.)

We assume this day in age, that our social media lives are followed by everyone and that all should know what we did during our expat year. Click To Tweet

Give others AND yourselves grace.

No matter how long you spend visiting your home country, time escapes all of us. There will always be places we did go, things we didn’t do, and people we didn’t see. And in fact, I would suggest that you do have that list of what you did and things you are thankful for while you visit. Your time home also needs to refresh you and help you process your time living in another country. So be ok with saying no and instead, resting for a day, going out to a movie or just staying home to spend time with your expat family.

Do you live in another country other than your native one? If so, where?
What ways do you prepare before going back to your native country?
Which one of this 6 tips stuck out to you?

Like this post? Share with a friend on Pinterest!

P.S. – This is the first post of a 6 part series called EXPAT GOING HOME SERIES. Stay tuned for the following articles:

Going Home Series: 10 thoughtful questions to ask your returning expats

Going Home Series: 8 ways you can bless your returning expats

Going Home Series: 6 ways to make your expat visit ‘home’ more enjoyable (Part 1)

Going Home Series: 6 practical ways to destress your next expat visit ‘home’ (Part 2)

Going Home Series: 5 expectations to explore before expats’ returning home

Going Home Series: 7 self-care tips and why it is important for expats returning home

GOING HOME SERIES: 10 thoughtful questions to ask your returning expat

September 21, 2017October 22, 20172017, EXPAT, EXPAT GOING HOME, EXPAT LIFE Catie

If you are hoping or planning to spend time with anyone that has lived overseas for longer than 3 months, then this post is for you! Or if you are an expat going home for a visit, share this post with a friend or family member.

Expats want to come back to their ‘home’ country and spend time with people they love, but it can be overwhelming. So many people and things to do in usually a short amount of time! Expectations of both the expats and the friends/family they visit can be different which leads to frustrations and confusion.

Expectations of both the expats and the friends/family they visit can be different which leads to frustrations and confusion. Click To Tweet

And let’s be honest – Sometimes it is hard to know what to ask your expat friends! Perhaps you have never been to the country they are living, yet alone another country. Finding questions to ask can seem difficult to find. Also, fear of seeming uneducated and judgement of not keeping up with your expat friends hinders others from asking good questions.

Also, fear of seeming uneducated and judgement of not keeping up with your expat friends hinders others from asking good questions. Click To Tweet

I am here to tell you: There is no judgement (well, hopefully!). Expats want to answer your questions! What better time to do that then face to face during their visit back to the states. Even your enthusiasm to listen shows your love and support.

On our recent return after living one year abroad, so many good questions were asked to us. Questions are a wonderful tool to not only learn about expat life, but they will also help you reconnect with your returning expat. As much as possible, consider rephrasing your ‘yes or no’ questions.

10 thoughtful (no ‘yes’ or ‘no’) questions to ask your returning expat:

What do you like best about living in _______?
What do you dislike about living in _______?
What does your daily life look like? How has moving affected your work?
What’s been the biggest change?
What’s the hardest part about living in _____? (seems similar to #2 but this can be personal and not about culture)
What does community look like there?
What is your favourite food? place to eat? activity to do? part of the culture?
What is your experience like in learning the language?
What has this international move taught you? What has it taught you about your spouse?
What do you miss most while you are living in _____?

Other than asking questions, you can simply just ask for interesting cultural traditions, a funny story or an embarrassing moment! Believe me, there are plenty. I like the time we dropped a 10 foot pipe down 5 story apartment building or cried after language class.

Now to you:

Have you had an expat friend or family member return ‘home’?

What questions above had you not thought of before?

What questions do you like to ask them?

Like it? Share it!

P. S. – This is the first post of a 6 part series called EXPAT GOING HOME SERIES. Stay tune for the following articles:

Going Home Series: 10 thoughtful questions to ask your returning expats

Going Home Series: 8 ways you can bless your returning expats

Going Home Series: 6 ways to make your expat visit ‘home’ more enjoyable (Part 1)

Going Home Series: 6 practical ways to destress your next expat visit ‘home’ (Part 2)

Going Home Series: Self care and why it is important for expat returning home

Going Home Series: Managing expectations for expats returning home

EXPAT: Interview with ExpatFocus

September 14, 2017September 12, 20172017, EXPAT, EXPAT GOING HOME, EXPAT HEALTH, EXPAT LIFE, EXPAT MOVING, EXPAT YEARS, INTERVIEW, TURKEY, WRITING Catie

Websites like ExpatFocus.com help others gain knowledge about the community, cost of living, and even neighbourhoods. Some of the best advice is from first hand experience. This website also has articles about expat living as well.

While most of our answers tend to be the same, we continue to learn more and more about ourselves through our expat living. We enjoy sharing that knowledge with others via our website, podcast, and expat websites.

Recently, our website was feature on ExpatFocus via an interview. Through this interview we are able to help other understand more about the country they are moving to, either by choice or through work. Continue reading about here…

Further down in the interview.

If you have more specific questions about our expat lives, our FunkTravels Podcast Episode032 and Episode033 answers most of them!

What did you like?

Did you learn anything new?

EXPAT YEARS: 10 things we learned our first year as expats (Year 1 Part 3)

September 12, 2017September 12, 20172017, Culture, EVERYDAY LIFE, EXPAT, EXPAT LIFE, EXPAT YEARS, LANGUAGE, TURKEY, Uncategorized, YEAR GOALS Catie

The Funks have been living abroad as expats for just over a year and just like anyone’s life, a lot has happened. For newcomers here, check out more of our story or listen to our podcast episode where we announced our move to the Turkey.

Currently, we are working to re-apply for our visas. Our 1 year visas are coming to a close, and we are submitting our visas to live in Turkey for another 2 years!

As I wrap up part 3 of our EXPAT YEARS Series, I share 10 things we have learn our first year as expats.

Try to stick with your original plan. (Which we did not do…)

Jason and I agreed before we moved that renting a furnished apartment would be the best option. We could potentially pay more for our home but save money the first year. It would give us time to make sure we were in the right location and look for a more permanent rental that we knew we really liked.

Real life: Jason and I found a newly renovated apartment (not furnished which means NOT ONE SINGLE APPLIANCE) and fell straight into full on house furnishing mode… You know what? We didn’t even look at the other furnished apartment. Don’t get me wrong, we LOVE our apartment and LOVE that we live here. BUT, looking back now, we both agreed it may have been a little easier had we stuck to our original plan. It would have given us a year to save even more without depleting our moving fund and possibly saved us some frustrations of not having hot water for a month.

Having great neighbors is worth your apartment rent and location.

Brightside to #1 is our #2. One of the main reasons we love our place is our neighbors. It took a while to get connected with our neighbors, but it is worth all the effort in the world to have good relationships with them. Our neighbors have had us over for tea, invited me into their women’s group, brought us food after my surgery, and even watered my flowers while we were gone for 2 months this summer.

It took a while to get connected with our neighbors, but it is worth all the effort in the world to have good relationships with them. Click To Tweet

Community is important.

Humans are created to be in community, and while you may not need a large community, it is still important. Married 2.5 years when we moved, Jason and I were comfortable with just being with each other, but we both knew it was not healthy. Community brings a network of helpers and advisors that can support you. Community creates friendships which, while they can’t replace your best friends back ‘home’ it can help ease times of homesickness and loneliness. Lastly, community gives you belonging and identity which is crucial to thriving long term in another country. All is important when moving to another country.

Community brings a network of helpers and advisors that can support you. Click To Tweet

Celebrate everything!

When I moved to Istanbul, Turkey as a single gal, it was also the first time I moved outside of the U.S.A. I found that celebrating the little accomplishments helped me see growth. I would celebrate the number of months living in a city of 20 million people much like newlyweds celebrate each month of marriage until their first anniversary. Make a list of things you will have to learn, and check them off as you learn them. Or write down things you have learned since moving such as buying furniture, refilling your transportation card, or have the air conditioner fixed.

Celebrate everything!... Make a list of things you will have to learn, and check them off as you learn them. Click To Tweet

Take a break.

This is so important! Taking a break every once and awhile is good! We were in Turkey 4 months before heading out to Germany for Christmas. After moving, living in an airbnb for a month, buying furniture, fixing issues with our newly (yet not truly lived in) renovated apartment, starting language… needless to say, we were ready for a break! We actually left our apartment in the hands of a Turkish friend for one day after we left so the leaking roof could be replaced. A break was important and usually is needed in the first 4-6 months. So whether it is just outside the city or another country, get out of town for a bit and relax.

Reflect and evaluate

While celebrating and taking a break are both great things to do, one of the most helpful tip is to reflect. We reflect together every new year, sometimes over our anniversary celebration, and even when other friends ask us questions. If you are learning a language it is helpful to reflect on what works and doesn’t work, and especially what you have learned to see progress. Scheduling time reflect on your work, personal like and projects is more helpful than you think and can encourage you as you in times of need.

Scheduling time reflect on your work, personal like and projects is more helpful than you think and can encourage you as you in times of need. Click To Tweet

Language opens up doors to locals and culture

Unless you are an English speaker in an English speaking country, learning the local language is always a good choice. (Although I do hear France is brutally unkind about new french language learners).

Is it easy? NOT AT ALL. But have I found (the second time around, and with a longer term vision in mind) that the more I try to speak, the more others appreciate it.

Will it take time? ABSOLUTELY (that was more for myself). With other projects on the burner, Jason and I are working part-time to learn Turkish and it has been worth every hour.

Keep up at least 1 hobby that you loved back home

Sounds weird but this one little task can make a bad culture day look brighter and mellow out sadness. Like to play guitar? Bring yours or buy one as soon as you can. Enjoy crossstitching, bring your needles and threads. Love to run and exercise, join a gym. You will not regret investing into the hobbies that bring you joy.

Explore all the local food … and maybe even cook it

These Funks love trying new foods, and even though we had both lived here before, I have found there to be so many foods I had never tried. Food opens a whole different door into the culture and locals you are learning about it. Be adventurous, and order that food you don’t know how to pronounce. Try and then record it in a book and either note how great it was or wasn’t!

Food opens a whole different door into the culture and locals you are learning about it. Click To Tweet

Your family and friends won’t forget you, but it usually looks different.

You may find it challenging to connect when you return, especially if they aren’t able to come visit you. However, they will still love you! Returning home could require some preparation on your part and you find learn more about that in our next EXPAT SERIES: Going Home.

Your family and friends won't forget you, but it usually looks different. Click To Tweet

Hope you enjoy reading about what we have learned!

Are you an expat? If so, where are you living?

What did you learn from your first year abroad?

What have you learned the longer you have been gone?

Like this post? Pin it to your board!

———

P.S. – If you missed it, this is a 3 part series about our first year living internationally.

EXPAT YEARS ROUNDUP SERIES:

EXPAT YEARS: Our First Year Abroad (Year 1 Part 1)

EXPAT YEARS: The Truth About Living Abroad (Year 1 Part 2)

EXPAT LIFE: 10 things I have learned my first year as a full-time expat (Year 1 Part 3)